In the Interest of Balance: CLEVERDUCKS

IN THE INTEREST OF BALANCE: 

Ann Widdecombe, a childless anti-socialist,  has now been considered an ideal candidate to not only be a nanny, but also a quiz show host. On that basis, is it time to let a real nanny or quiz show host take over the job of running the country. 

After dancing with Anton du Bec, the diminutive diva has taken again to the stage as hostess of the latest quiz determined to clone the success of the Weakest Link.

 Widdecome hosts the new quiz show Cleverdicks on Challenge TV and seems like one of the latest attempts to show our politicians as men and women of the people. Unfortunately the ‘people’ they are supposed to be represent  are those on reality TV shows: indulging in the cult of celebrity, where people are solely  famous for being infamous. This is now typical, of course, of the media, so we should not be surprised about this. Credit where credit is due, however, like or lump Ms. Widdecombe, she is, at least, famous for something other than just being famous and pursued this career AFTER retiring from a lifetime in politics

Sadly, this is not what TV shows will have you think. Independent thinkers standing as politicians will undoubtedly be cast aside in the interest of admitting politicians who have achieved notioriety through obtaining 'celebrities' status: people who will debase themselves to any extent, such as trying to deal with parents who don’t realise the reason their children are arseholes is because they allow them to be, present documentaries that investigate lifestyles they have never experienced, yet have stood to represent and charge exorbitant fees for people to take photos of them.

Attempts by politicians to inflate their ego through appearences on popular television shows cross the floor. For instance, some of the more recent characters of notoriety are Neil and Christine Hamilton (Tory) who surfaced from the scandal of cash-for-questions on a host of shows and comedy programmes lampooning their disgrace. George Galloway (Lab), infamously set aside his credibility whilst appearing on Big Brother to mimic a cat. Various politicians have been invited to appear on Have I Got News For You, either as guests or Celebrity chairpersons: however, as this is a current affairs programme, it may be said be said by some that this should exclude them from consideration for the gig. 

Boris Johnson, however, may otherwise have been relegated to a backbench eccentric, but, if it was not for his appearences on HIGNFY which have bolstered his popularity and fame, and so he may not have found himself becoming London Mayor. Except then, much to the conservative's disappointment, Boris (to borrow a metaphor from Bill Maher) turned out to be rather like his hair style: ridiculous, untameable and impossible to understand.

So let’s not stop here, if this is what people want of our TV soap opera politicians. To avoid tax evasion scandals, let’s say MPs can claim as many homes as they want on expenses as long as they install 24 hour cctv cameras in all of their homes so that every detail of their lives will be public and there will be ultimate transparency. At the end of the week, we will then be allowed to vote off the person we think is the most useless.

Likewise, there must be a reality TV show for animal lovers from cctv installed in the duck house. This week on CLEVERDUCKS: “Day 8 in the duckhouse and Mr. Quacker is in his last legs. If he does not get his feathers smoothened out this week, chances are he will soon be taking the waddle of shame and be doomed to life in the pond with the normal ducks.”

Having said all that, maybe these pleas for popularity will fail to be popular. After all, there is a reality TV show in which politicians are allowed to shout and posture in the hope of the approval of their peers and their public and it is called Live from the House of Lords and BBC Parliament in general. The BBC do a fantastic job to allow our democratic processes to be scrutinised, but it never hits the ratings. Thanks to this show we now have the opportunity to stream a continuous view of this week’s f*ckups at any time we wish and, unpopular as the current government seems to be at times, we have to ask, would they be considered so unpopular if it wasn’t for the cameras in the discussions. It’s a bad thing for them that we’re allowed to see so much and in the light of the unprofessionalism so often on display, and so it can come of little surprise that our politicians have no desire for greater transparency. After all, we all know that the only thing that tells more lies than the cameras are the politicians... or is it vice versa?