Well, no matter how hard you try, you can never escape the Olympics and us Penguins are no exception. In the run up to the games they have probably been more inescapable than they probably will be during the games (despite them being broadcast over 3 BBC channels). We have heard everything: in the year of the olympics it seems to have been official political dogma that nobody is allowed to criticise the games on the basis that it is unpatriotic to do so. This, of course sparked a whole outcry of anti-olympic sentiment, some of which is justified. The Olympics have too much power, it was a complete fiasco that the building of the park rose to double budget before it was finished, the corporations are running the show, G4S will soon be relegated to organising piss ups in breweries (which will probably still fail) and that some of the worst aspects of Britain will be on display. The history of the Olympics held in other nation states sadly has a track record of massive underbudgeting in the planning stages, overspending to meet the objectives, and debt lumbered with the host nations... Seoul 1988 and Athens 2004 anyone?
The Opening Ceremony of the games at least proved some of these concerns right. The organisation, as far as could be seen went pretty well. The financial situation the games found themselves in was a total mess. The Olympic brand does have too much power- which should have been demonstrated when some lady had her knitting confiscated because it included the Olympic 5 ring logo. Its now extended into the catering- you can only buy McDonalds in stadia and Pepsi gets confiscated on the orders of Coca-Cola. The whole show is an exhibition of corporations. The worst of Britain on display? Not exactly. You might have noticed that the industrial revolution centrepiece of the show quite neatly glossed over the worst of what could have been displayed: child labour, slave labour, appalling conditions that killed the workers, some of the worst pollution and worst poverty ever seen in Europe. However, this did still prove to be a time of remarkable progress for this nation, so how do we reconcile the best we offered and the worst we've done? The solution of this show: ignore it. After all people in harsh situations doesn't make for a good show- just ask anyone who has seen "Oliver!", "Les Mis", "Miss Saigon" or "Evita".
It would seem right to suggest that, in the mode of the Emperor's New Clothes, those who dared not criticise were swept up with the craze. As a result, constructive criticism may equally have been hindered from being voiced. Naturally, we don't wish to be doomsayers and hope the Olympics does pass off well. However it comes to something then the Army are involved in the running of security checks and installing anti-aircraft weaponry under government mandate.
So what happened to all this criticism? I mean apart from the truly and undeniably outstanding spectacle of the opening ceremony? Was it the demonstration of our own organisers that they really could do great things with their organisation skills? No, not at all. what was it? Or more accurately who was it that made people throw more support behind the Olympics?
Mitt Romney and Aidan Burley. The Robot versus the Nazi stag do organiser. Alien Versus Predator.
Absurd though this sounds, however, it is true. Mitt Romney dropped a bombshell on Cameron and, evidently, London Mayor Boris Johnson when he expressed concern about the poor organisation. This was doubly unfortunate for both sides of the issue (as is usual for the Mittbot). The unfortunate fact for the Tory gang was that there have been legitimate concerns for the organisation of the event from the countdown clock breaking a day after it was unveiled, to the colossal messing up of the security and the games finding themselves unable to pay anything to the thousands of people appearing in the ceremony save the super wealthy. That said it was also unfortunate for the critics of the games, who could really have used a good intelligent voice to express these legitimate concerns, who instead ended up with a man so two faced that he is able to wear both simultaneously.
And then there was Burley. The tweeting twit of the twenty twelve games. This man tweeted that the ceremony was "multicultural crap" and that it was "the most leftie opening ceremony I've ever seen, more than Beijing the capital of a communist state! Welfare Tribute next?". Wow. Now, I know this is meant to be a satyrical blog and all, but that is such powerful stupidity that even we can't compete!
I mean really when you've been disgraced and lost your job for throwing a Nazi stag do (which I'm for, by the way as long as it makes the fascists look as sick as they actually were) and you're trying to save face... don't side with the fascists. I mean that is so extraordinarily dumb even Mitt didn't think of it. Seriously if you think it's communist to have a ceremony so head over heals in love with corporations, franchise and exports you need your head examined. If that was communism it was lousy communism.
What would Burley's ideal opening ceremony be? In fact why would he even have an opening ceremony? When people arrive let's just put a big electrified fence up guarded by alsatians with a big sign on it saying "You're in Britain. We're better than you, now give us your money and f*ck off!" I daresay that would please this man.
But I do not come here to make Burley look even more stupid because A. That's impossible and B. I'm here on a mission of mercy.
Yes I'm here to be merciful to people like Burley and not just because he converted so many people to sympathising with the Olympics. I want to start a movement to prevent Burley from ever looking at anyone else's tweets on the subject or googling The Guardian, The Independent or even New Left Review. Why? Because I want to save lives, not destroy them (even the morons). Now am I for saving Burley's life, yes, but his career, no. Life's rich tapestry has a few dropped stitches, (well they make it interesting don't they?) but we shouldn't put the dropped stitches in government and if Burley ever catches a glimpse of one of the aforementioned publications, the poor man's head might explode.
So please, people, shield this child from the real world. Let him live in his fantasy land and as long as he's there, lock the wardrobe door and keep him in Narnia.
I have one word for that, and that word is 'excellent', even if my vision does have black stripes across it from reading all that white lettering. It certainly sums up all the stupidity and greed that the 'games' have dredged up anyway, is it serious that Pepsi is banned? WTF? what happened to freedom of choice? Fucking bastards, the whole power trip they're on is just disgusting, and for what, a few weeks of something that most UK denizens can't even afford to attend.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing does exactly the opposite of making me proud, it makes me sick, mostly about what a waste of much needed money and resources it is.